your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Did you know? . You already know!

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops