How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

My jeans

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

a chinese man pays the full price

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...