Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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Haha, I get it..

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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