What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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How old are you? 7

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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