A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

What has two legs? Half a cat

TRICERATOPS!

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

a Polar bear in an Igloo.

Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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