When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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