Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +14

4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what has genitial warts? me

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:What's worst than reading a bad joke? A: Reading a joke on anti-joke and the person who posted the joke obviously doesn't get how a anti-joke works. For example... read this again ^^

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops