What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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If the black man lives in the black house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The white man. As unfortunate as it is, racism is still a very integral part of society, and the social dominance the white man holds in countries like America are not to be so quickly forgotten.

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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You have friends

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops