Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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