Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops