When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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test test

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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