You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

I'm 23, just like most people my age.

what happened to your carpool? they died.

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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