An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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