why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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