http://www.com/

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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