I'm HIV positive.

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

ure mama's so fat

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

Q: If Alma have 4 corners..? A: Then there must be something wrong with Alma...

What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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