life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

Ehh

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

Christ is a conspiracy

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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