The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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The child was fired from his job.

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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