I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

Why are trees green? I have no idea

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

Dick Cheney That's the joke

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

I have a horse.

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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