Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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what do you call your mom? mom

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops