Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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68

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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it's funny because it's funny

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops