How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

nothing

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

In soviet Russia...things are different

whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

You dropped something.... Yo lip

Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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