A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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What's worse than this That :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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