What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

What do 69 and carpets have in common ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Nothing

a kid named austin walks into school and gets kicked in the nuts byyy

Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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