Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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