What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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A seal walks into a club.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops