Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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