(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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an athiest walks into a church

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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