Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Neither have I

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If youre African, why are you white?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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