whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Moral

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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