A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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