What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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