Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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