Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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what do you call your mom? mom

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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