What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Mahmy

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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