What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happened to my sunglasses?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Asians.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops