How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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