how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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View Terms of Service

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Women's Rights

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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