How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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like most people my age. im 27

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops