Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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