Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

thumb_up thumb_down -27

are you saying pam, or pan?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

thumb_up thumb_down -27

i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Charles Manson is innocent.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops