on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

you will like this because i am black.

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

John Cena for president

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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