how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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The Labour Party.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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69

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops