What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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LOL

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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