What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops