Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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