My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

world society

I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

No because your face is really f***** up.

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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