A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Why? Because racecar.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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