WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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What african eat for christmas Sand.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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