Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

Raveena Thandhan

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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