Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Boys have swag, real men have class

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

did you know towels can cause dry skin?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

thumb_up thumb_down +22

your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops