You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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