Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jebron Lames.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops